has been a favourite with parents and kids for over 40 years. Find the Tommee Tippee range in all major retailers or log on to www.tommeetippee.co.uk

Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over swept!

Q: Why did the King go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned.

Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights!

Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A: A dead end!

Q. Why was the maths book sad?
A. Because it had too many problems.

Q. What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A. I think I'm coming down with something.

Q. Why didn't the hotdog star in the movies?
His rolls weren't good enough.

Q. Why did the woman wear a helmet at the dinner table?
A. She was on a crash diet.

Q. What did the toilet say to the other toilet ?
A. You look a little flushed.

Q. How can you tell if a ghost is flat?
A. Use a spirit level.

Little Leah asks her Dad, "Do you know what happened when the lion ate the comedian?"
"No, I don't, darling."
"He felt funny."

Q. What lies on the ground, 100 feet in the air?
A. A dead centipede.

David was staring at the clock on the mantelpiece.
Then he says, "Daddy, what do people do in clock factories?"
His Daddy replies, "They make faces all day."

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.
"Tiny" replies the man.
"Why's that?" asks the bartender.
"Because he's my newt!"

Q. Why do bears have fur coats?
A. Because they'd look stupid in anoraks.

Q. How do snails get their shells so shiny?
A. They use snail varnish.

Q. Why was Cinderella no good at playing hockey?
A. Because she was always running away from the ball.

Q. What do you do when two snails have a fight?
A. Leave them to slug it out.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
A. He had no body to go with.

Q. What do you call a woman with a sheep on her head?
A. Baa-Baa-Ra!

Q. Why did the Beach blush?
A. Because the Sea Weed.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow says MOO not WHO.

Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. "You go on a head and I'll hang around."

Q. When is the best time to buy a bird?
A. When it goes cheep!

Q. What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A. A walkie talkie.

Q. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A. "Stick with me and we'll go places!"